Hello my lovelies and welcome back to another post in these uncertain times, I hope you’re all having a productive or relaxed week. If you’ve read my last post then you will know I said I wanted to create a post where I share with you what I’ve been up to and my thoughts and discoveries during this time. As you’re reading this I have been in isolation for 3 weeks and I really feel like the time has just flown. Whatever I seem to do every day just flies by whether I’m being productive or I’m just relaxing. And this self isolation period seems to be no different.
I mentioned in my previous post that a list made up of all of the tasks and activities you need, want, and like to do is the best place to start. I think in this time it’s important to remember that things on your list they don’t have to be groundbreaking. I think a lot of people are feeling the pressure to make use of this time and are feeling guilty for not sorting their lives out or not doing something creative or career savvy or making groundbreaking discoveries. When really during this time your main priority should be you. We’re in extraordinary circumstances and whatever you feel is beneficial for your mental health and well-being just do that. As long as you’re happy and whatever you’re doing brings you joy that is all that matters.
One of the only things I can’t stress enough right now is learning to let go of things we can’t control. This situation is on a ginormous scale but if you’re stressing or worrying about it you’re probably infecting your mental state more by doing that, feeling scared, constantly checking the media and news channels for updates. It is a toxic vicious cycle and if you’re finding yourself caught up in it just simply stop. Close your eyes, take a breath, and relax all that tension in your brain and throughout your body which you feel is consuming you. And now say in your own head or out loud my own worry is not beneficial, my own stresses are not beneficial, my constant fear and anxiety is not helping. This ball of negative energy is causing me grief which has been/ is building pressure on my mental state. Taking another breath and as you exhale say to yourself I am ready to let go of what I cannot control. Hold that ball of negative energy, take another breath, and as you exhale, throw that ball away. Depending on how heavy what you’re carrying is you may find you need to repeat the task a couple more times. Or if you’re someone who carries a lot of anxiety and stress you might want to do this task or one similar to this every morning or every night to help you get through each day.
I completely understand that it’s really difficult to accept there’s nothing else we can physically do other than stay at home right now, especially if you’re someone who likes to be in control a lot. I’ve been watching Miranda Hart’s IGTV’s recently as she’s doing a series called Chatty Rambles related to the current situation we’re living in. And she’s doing research into our purposes as a race and our reasons for doing the things we do the way we do. It’s very open and really connects into our higher ways of thinking and it’s giving me a lot of clarity about life right now as well as reflecting on my life in general. I’d recommend giving them a watch as I’m finding them so interesting. I’m really into spirituality and higher vibrations of thinking when it comes to lives and purposes and why we’re here and what we’re here for etc. If you’re into all of that I would recommend giving Miranda a follow and a listen to her take on things. But in one of the first couple of videos she’s done she talks about how we have no control over anything in our life and this pandemic is evident of that. I’m very aware that for some of you the idea of not being control of anything in your life can be quite scary but it does make a lot of sense. I’ve always believed the universe knows where I’m meant to go and what I’m meant to do and who I am meant to be. Therefore on the grand scale of things it makes perfect sense to me how us as beings have no control over our life because we can’t control the outer universe: space, the stars, the planets. We are just one tiny speck of what makes up the universe. But the universe is going to do, what it’s going to do. We also can’t control our personal life outer universe: our family and friends’ intentions, the scale of our jobs beyond our control, the relationships we experience throughout our life. Miranda goes on to say when you step back from those elements and say it’s okay I’m not in control do you feel like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders?
I believe that you only have control over yourself in the moment that you’re living in. For example, when you’re caught in a situation with negative energies with an object, yourself or someone else. Only you can decide how you act and react in the situation at hand which will always be subject to change dependant on your relationship with the object or the person in front of you. I think often the memories we have with the object or the person does cause us to think that we have to stay to hold onto what we’ve got because if we let go it will be gone forever. But that right there is your answer. Let go of one sided relationships, one sided friendships, one sided effort, anything where you feel you’re doing the most to hold it together and on the other side that is not reciprocated. Let it go. It is not longer worth your time, no longer worth your anxiety, no longer worth your effort, no longer worth your love and your kindness. As myself I’ve always known those things but during this self isolation it has just been highlighted to me that the only activities worth my time are what bring me joy and the only people worth my time are the ones who invest in me as much as I invest in them. The phrase walk away from what and who no longer serves you couldn’t be more relevant right now. If you’re someone who feels like they’re caught in this cycle only you know what is best for you, but wouldn’t you rather value your time with the things you enjoy and the people who value you with their time.
It doesn’t mean you should stop being kind to people or stop spreading love or being a good person towards others. You don’t cure hate with further hate, simply let go of whatever in your life that is making you feel heavy. Whatever you decide to say goodbye to is for you. It’s not about the object or the person as everyone is at a different stage of their growing process. As the cliche says, if something or someone is really meant to orbit around your life then they will. The universe will put that into place for both parties. When we’re going through tough situations everyone always says it all works out in the end. Even when we don’t know what that end is but we know at some point it will come to a natural stop. Which again proves we aren’t in control of situations and people because we can never say how something is going to play out until it has and then it’s in the past. And the way things end, no matter how hard they can be, it is all for us as humans to understand each other, understand ourselves, and reflect, learn, grow, and to be better as we move forward. To then hopefully deal with it [thoughts, emotions, feelings, empathy, pain etc] – better in the next life situation we face.
There’s no denying right now that the state of the world is a mess. But it was already a mess before Covid-19 even took shape, I think finally people are starting to wake up and realise that we need to make multiple changes after we’ve dealt with this pandemic. If the government’s and the huge companies and corporations don’t take this as one of the biggest signs we’ve ever had in our current lifetime that the world needs help then we are living in the most ignorant era of politicians and world leaders we’ve ever had. Ever since we all stopped living our “normal” lives as we know them to be, the world has healed. It is crazy how this small period of time when the world has near enough stopped it’s finally breathed and that brings me so much joy and happiness. But it also brings sadness to know that we as human beings have all caused that in some way or another when this planet accepted us for this to be our home and we’re treating it so awfully. Don’t get me wrong so many incredible companies and organisations have done a lot for global warming and the well-being of the Earth and people suffering and struggling. But this pandemic only highlights that we need to do more. The fact that there are multimillionaires and billionaires throughout the world and we still have massive global warming issues, massive debts across the board, third world countries, poverty, homelessness, tiny amounts of funding for the NHS which is undeniably the most important organisation in the UK, as well as the lack of funding for so many other important organisations that help so many peoples lives and families every single day. And yet we still have problem after problem because so many people still lack compassion and kindness for others. There are certain types of people who could do so much more for this world because they can afford to and they don’t. I believe everyone should do what they can to be a decent human being but if you can afford to do more and offer more out of the kindness of your heart I don’t see why you wouldn’t.
All of those points I’ve shared above are highly important and whilst I hope all of these things have the recognition and the push for change as move forward. Right now we all need to focus on staying at home, protecting the NHS and other health systems around the world, supporting all of our key workers, and of course coming together as a unit to stop the further spread of this virus. So the quote above ‘I am learning to find joy right here in the mess of things’ is very relevant to all of our lives right now. I think this time in isolation highlights to us all how much we truly take for granted every single day. There are some things that you know are luxuries, for example being able to go on a dream trip to Bali, or going on a world wide adventure for 6 months, being able to do your dream career and more, being able to afford your perfect house. All of those incredible things are lovely but we often forget that not everything is automatically given to us. A small example, having a shower and a bath – in my boyfriend’s house he only has a shower whereas in my house I only have a bath. I personally always prefer bath’s to shower’s but my boyfriend’s view is the other way round and imagine that’s because we’ve grown up with just one and not both. Whereas I feel like these days we’re given so much for doing so little because we expect to have the things that everyone else has just because they have it. It seems that 90% of the time people can’t just view other people’s successes or other people’s attributes without comparing it to their own. That needs to stop because it damages both parties involved; I’m not a saint when it comes to this, in the past I have been so hard on myself. Constantly comparing my worth and my success and my career and my look and my weight and my confidence and my followers and my likes and my views and my popularity and my value from someone else’s view and my talent and my importance to someone else’s life. I could go on, but I’m so tired of constantly never feeling enough for myself. I am just me and whatever I do should always be for me and whatever you do should always be for you. But we all need to remember that no one is who we are. No one else is you and no one else is me which is why us all as individuals we will always be important and enough and valued because we allow ourselves to accept ourselves. If you’re able to accept someone else for all they are, you can do that for yourself as well.
But I think as I’ve been growing up I’ve been letting go of so many things that don’t bring me joy and don’t bring me happiness and I’ve let go of people who don’t bring me joy and happiness. Like what I said earlier on, let go of elements and people that make you feel heavy. I think all of this time where we’re all spending most of the time on our own, it’s gonna be highlighted to a lot of people how much they’ve been holding onto that’s actually weighing them down. And if you let go of something or someone and you don’t feel sad or torn about it then you know you’re ready to let that go because your emotional attachment has gone. It doesn’t have to be a big drama or a big emotional thing, sometimes we just grow out of love with certain things and people and that’s okay. Zoe Sugg once said, elements or people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime and it’s honestly so true. When you’re in a positive place mentally and physically you shine so much brighter and people notice it so much more. So finding the joy in the everyday and the little things that amount to the big things is so powerful. Your heart will be full of so much gratitude for the elements we usually take for granted, and if one thing this extraordinary event in our history will teach us is the power of gratitude, kindness, and love is far greater than anything money could buy you.
I’ve only been in isolation for 3 weeks and I already feel like I have done and discovered so much so I imagine it’ll be even more when I reach 4, 5, 6, 7 weeks – however long it takes. I have so much more joy and appreciation for the small things in my life.
I could’ve listed a lot more but those are some prominent ones right this moment. But I find more things to appreciate everyday. What are you appreciating today?
One of my favourite things has been having all this free time to do whatever I want to do. There is something incredibly liberating about engaging in activities just for the pure joy of doing it, with no expectations of yourself or from someone else. I think too often we’re all really hard on ourselves when we can’t do something to a “high” or “acceptable” standard – in the eyes of who though? Our own or someone else’s? – the first time we do it. Even though all the skills we currently carry we couldn’t do from the first moment we attempted it. I read a post once that said, when babies are learning to walk for the first time and they fall over, when they fall we don’t criticise why they fell. We clap and cheer because of what they achieved, so why don’t we do that for ourselves? I’m very bad on myself for this and I will happily admit it. As humans we’re really bad when it comes to any mistake we made or something we feel we didn’t do our best on. We think about it for days and wonder what everyone is thinking of it, when really those people you’re worried about are probably overthinking something in their own head and not even thinking about what you just did. Conclusion = it’s a cycle and we’ve all gotta stop it!
I think one reason I’m so judgemental on myself is because for a lot of my life I never felt good enough or talented enough to do anything I wanted to do. Partly because of the way I was treated in previous friendships and relationships and I think those kind of things fuck you up more than you realise. But at the same time, because I’ve been at such a low point of feeling worthless I’ve never wanted anyone in my life from that point on-wards to feel as low as I have. So when I see someone on my Instagram or Twitter or one of my friends isn’t feeling their best or feeling low I always want to step in and try to give clarity or a be someone who helps them think about the bigger picture. I’ve always wanted to be a positive force and someone who gives people something to benefit them and to make them feel empowered and make them inspired etc. I really feel like I’m doing that at the moment with everything going on in the world and it’s a special feeling. It fills me with that tingly feeling knowing that something you said, or something you posted, or something you offered has the power to change someone’s whole outlook and mood and confidence and way of life. I’d like to be able to do that for the rest of my life for other people. Because at the end of the day we all wont be remember for how many followers and likes we had on Instagram or how many sell out singles we had or how much money we had or how big or small our house was. We’ll be remembered for our kind hearts, our aura, our good nature, how caring we are, how thoughtful we are, how we made other people feel when they were around us. They’re the things that count in the long run, never forget that as it is so easy to let those points slip your mind.
In this decade I want to do more of that like I already am. But I also know I need to do more for me. I need to just go for opportunities and believe in myself and believe that I am enough to achieve whatever it is that comes my way. If the universe didn’t think I was capable then it wouldn’t throw these chances and challenges my way. Last year I lost a lot of passion and drive for the things I used to love and wanted to devote my life to. But without having that blip you guys probably wouldn’t be reading this blog post today. I’m grateful to the universe for steering me off course so that I could get back in that car and turn the wheel back around. Now I just need to keep driving down that road and going forward, enjoying the views and experiences that come my way.
During this time I have thoroughly enjoyed doing activities like colouring, organising, cleaning, blogging, creating fresh content, reading, having at home coffee dates, Facetiming friends, catching up on Netflix shows that I’ve been saying I want to watch for the last year, playing around with makeup again, getting back into nail art. I know it is a struggle right now for a lot of people, but I do think finding a new hobby or interest is really beneficial right now as it gives you an escape from the real world even for a minute. Another note is regardless of what’s going on in our lives and around our lives, time doesn’t stop. It still keeps going and it rolls on, so whatever you’re doing or not doing the concept of time is still happening. But whatever you are doing with your time right now, just live it and enjoy it and appreciate it.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and can take something away from it as we move forward in this process. I know we’re all in different mindsets and at different points in the growing process of this unimaginable piece of history that we’re living in and experiencing. But just know that we will get through this and one day all of this will become a distant memory, so as hard as it may feel try to appreciate what this event is teaching us and hopefully all of the good outcomes that will come from this in the long run. Remember to be safe, stay at home as much as you can, wash your hands, stay positive, be mindful to others, and spread love and kindness. I am sending you all nothing but good wishes through this time and I will be back again very soon.